Look at me now, I made it, feel my heart now, I made it..

Reaching things now, I never thought possible...here I am now, I made it.

First of all; happy new year! 2012, you guys..let's not fuck it up.

The song of the day is I Made It by Dead By April. I've saved this song especially for today. You see, a year ago, on this very date, I was ready to end my life. I was feeling so dead inside, and had nothing to live for, really, I felt like I had nothing to gain. The past year has been ups and downs. But I'm alive. I made it through another year - I'm still alive. That is indeed an achievement for me.

I'm happy. I never thought I would be able to be so happy, as I am now. I believe 2012 will be a year with more ups, and less downs.

2011 has not been the best year for me. Actually, it has been one of the worst years of my life. My best friend committed suicide in 2011. I lost so many good friends to bad rumors, and my bad reputation. But I also gained something very important - I gained happiness. I've learned what it's like to have real friends that are there for you, how it is to have a boyfriend that really, really cares about you, and supports you. I've learned what it's like to lose, and then stand up, and keep on fighting. I've learned so much in 2011. I hope I will learn even more from life in 2012 - but from better sources than death and stupidity.

2012 is gonna be the year of changes. I'm gonna start on a new school in August, the real start of my education.. I'm gonna be more active with my movies and music, and I'm gonna start up therapy, so that I can get a hold of all the thoughts in my head. Most importantly, I'm gonna really try to be there for the people I love. Be a better person. So I'll neither lose my friends, nor my incredible boyfriend.

I made it through 2011 - now I'm ready for 2012.

- Chiaki