I need you to know that we'll be okay..

Together we can make it through another day..

The song of the day is Courage by Superchick. I'll start by saying, that I am happy, today. Really happy. Even though the song says the opposite, I am happy. I chose this song, because I've realized something important today. Everytime I've listened to this song, I've cried. I've always been able to relate to the feeling of being 'too fat', but I've never wanted to realize. I've always had this dream of being extremely skinny. Lately, I've started to listen to what people have said to me.. That I am skinny, maybe even too skinny. I've known for a long time, that I've been underweight, but I haven't admitted it, or done anything about it. I've continued to eat less and less, or at least tried to, and act like nothing was wrong. But there is something wrong, there has been something wrong, for a very long time. I've hated my body. I've never been skinny enough, to myself. Well, today, I've seen myself as too skinny. I've been looking at picturess of these beauiful, curvy women.. And I realized.. I want to look like them. I don't want to be an always-hungry, skeleton-alike person. So, starting today, I will do my best to gain weight, in a healthy way; not by junkfood, or candy, or such things, but simply by eating properly. I hope it will help.

There is two persons that I would like to thank for this outcome. Sigurd, due to what he has said, every time I've asked him, if he wanted me to be thinner; "actually, I wouldn't mind if you gained a little weight. I like curves." And my mom. She's been the one always filling me up with more food than I could eat, so that I wouldn't get too thin. She's tried a lot to make me realize how thin I am, and I realized that today, as well. So here it comes; a big thank you. Thank you, Sigurd, for letting me look at beauty with new eyes. And thank you, mom, for making me realize something important. I don't want to be like this. I don't want people to see my ribs when I'm wearing a bikini. I want to look like a woman. Starting from today.
Stay strong..we can make it through.

- Chiaki