My love called me last night..

She said "if you don't change, I will".

The song of the day is My Love by Craig Owens.. I've chosen this song because it's so calm and beautiful, and it makes me relax, and take a deep breath. You see, I realized something today. I've changed. Over the past few weeks, I've changed. I'm just not the same person that I was during the last day of June. Something happened, that very last day. Something that changed me..the way I am, and the way I look at things. What happened, is not important - a few knows it already, and those are the people that are supposed to know. What has happened, is what is important.

I used to be insecure, always thinking about what others thought about me, always comparing myself to other people, and thinking I could never be as good, or clever, or beautiful as them.. The only thing I had, was Sigurd. I felt so secure, because I knew he loved me more than anything, and that he always would, and that he at least thought I was good enough. 

Now, it's the other way around. I don't care about what other people think I look like, or am like, or anything. I am myself, and I am beautiful to myself, and that is damn good enough. I am good enough. I really do think so. I've become much more careless about my appearence, like, I don't wear make up very often anymore, because I don't feel like I need it, when before, I thought I was ugly without it.

And it's not that that's not great, because it really is! It's just that..now I'm insecure about Sigurd instead. I don't know if he wants to be with me anymore, even though he says so. I don't know if I can trust him. And that sure is a bad thing.. What am I supposed to do?

- Chiaki