Everything that I can't say will fade away..

And no one knows what we were, or what we could've been.

The song of the day is Wrong From The Start by To Be Juliet's Secret. I love this song. It makes me kind of happy, even though it's sad.. 

I've been doing some thinking today. A lot of thinking, actually. Me and my boyfriend had an argument last night..a quite big one. It's okay again, but I was about to leave him. Now you may think 'what the fuck? The boy she says makes her happy, she was about to leave?' - and yes, I was. Because he screwed up. But he knows, like I know he loves me. Therefore, I am still with him. 

He said something, that really hit me; I don't want to be your ex. It was a good thing he said this, I guess, but it did really make me think. Think about all of my exes. And that's what I've been thinking about all day; my ex boyfriends. The guys that never even got to become my boyfriends before we fucked it up. All of the guys I've ever liked, and that has ever liked me back. It could've been so beautiful with them; but it didn't turn out that way. I've never asked myself why. But I know now; we were just wrong from the start. I always knew that there would come a breakup; it was wrong from the start. That's why it didn't work out. That's why I'm not with any of them anymore.

So this song is dedicated to every single ex boyfriend, or ex crush, or ex flame, that I have. I am sorry it didn't work out. I truly am.

Now, I am happy, and I am in love, and I have finally found a guy, that I can't see an ending with. I can't see a breakup. I don't know why that day should come. I believe everyone will find this kind of relationship. Maybe more than one time. But hopefully, this is the only time I'll feel this way; hopefully, there won't be a breakup. Because I do definitly not want my boyfriend to be another ex.<3

- Chiaki